How Divorce Affects Children

 

 Divorce is a very big topic that occurs every single day around us. With this being said, it makes you wonder how it really affects the children that are involved. In this blog, it should inform you on how divorce affects a child mentally, and future relationship problems that may occur with a child as their parents are going through a divorce. Not every child will show the same behavioral traits and attention needs, some children may express their needs in a completely different way. This is a very important topic that needs to be discussed more, and hopefully help parents who are concerned about how their divorce will affect their children. Reading this should hopefully give you some information on what to expect, and how to tend to a child’s needs. Research has shown that kids struggle the most during the first or second year after the divorce. The most common emotions that kids are likely to experience is anxiety, disbelief, distress, and anger (Morin lines 15-17). A common thought in young children is that if their parents can stop loving one another that may be someday their parents may stop loving them. This is a common thought because a lot of the time they are struggling to understand why they are going between two homes. Regardless of culture, gender, or age, it has been shown that children of divorced parents experience increased psychological problems (Morin lines 66-69). These psychological problems can include anxiety, depression, and risk for other mental health problems.

There are many risk-taking behaviors that children with divorced parents are more likely to engage in. These behaviors include drinking alcohol, the use of marijuana and tobacco, and drug use. Although a lot of kids or early teenagers participate in these behaviors, it has been reported that their use comes a lot earlier than their peers. Another behavior that they engage in is early sexual activity. “Separation from fathers has been associated with higher numbers of sexual partners during adolescence “(Morin lines 92-93). There are many important roles that parents play in that can help children adjust to a divorce. Parents need to co-parent peacefully, avoid putting kids in the middle, maintain healthy relationships, teach coping skills, and help the kids feel safe. Doing all of these actions will help the children during their childhood and help reduce the psychological toll on the children. Even though you can take all of these steps to help get a child better, it doesn’t necessarily mean that children won’t still act out and struggle sometimes. It is important to be patient with a child, and if needed seek professional help.

Children’s future relationships can definitely be affected by their parents' divorce. Adult children whose parents have been divorced, often have a negative attitude towards marriage and a lower commitment to relationships. Later in life, these children can be afraid of abandonment, sense of loss and control, and lowered self-esteem. Research has shown that children whose parents got divorced, are more likely to get divorced themselves. These impacts are not only short term, but also long term. 

There have been many studies also shown how siblings are affected during parental conflict. “Older sibling participants endorsed higher levels of dominance toward younger siblings, more caretaking behavior, and higher levels of parental conflict than younger siblings” (Roth Harkins Eng 1). Siblings can have a hard time indulging in their relationship while their parents are going through a divorce. Other times, siblings can reach out for each other and lean on each other through the hardships. Every child is different, and every family is different, and it is important to remember that everyone goes through hardships in different ways.

In conclusion, it is important to remember that no family is alone when going through a divorce. There are always outside forces such as family members, therapists, and other trustworthy adults who you can talk to. As a parent, it is important to know what your child may go through when you are going through a divorce, but not to stress that you are the reason that this is happening to them. Divorce can be a hard thing on a child, but they can always get better. It is time that people pay more attention to children during these times and provide them with the support that they need. Divorce is a very big topic, and it is happening around us every single day.

                                                                 Ted Talk by Tamara D.

Citations:

Amy Morin, LCSW. “The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children.” Verywell Family, Verywell Family, 22 Dec. 2022, www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170.

 

Roth, Katia E., et al. “Parental conflict during divorce as an indicator of adjustment and future relationships: A retrospective sibling study.” Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, vol. 55, no. 2, 2014, pp. 117–138, https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2013.871951.

Vanbuskirk, Sarah. “How Divorce Affects Your Children as They Age.” Verywell Family, Verywell Family, 22 Dec. 2022, www.verywellfamily.com/how-divorce-affects-your-children-as-they-age-5235598.